Is It Normal to Grieve a Miscarriage When You Didn’t Know You Were Pregnant?

A mom writes in asking for advice after she endured a miscarriage back in July while she was at work. At the time she miscarried, the woman didn’t know she was pregnant. Nonetheless, despite the fact she didn’t know she was pregnant, learning she had just had a miscarriage was devastating for her. Now, she’s asking others if she’s being ridiculous?

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A member of the community asks:

So back in July, July 20th, I had a miscarriage while I was at work. I didn’t know that I was pregnant. Is it ridiculous that it still hurts even though I didn’t know? I had Mirena at the time. Every time it pops up in my mind, I can’t help but bawl.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Still Grieving Her Miscarriage Even Though She Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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This community wants this mom to know she’s not alone and that how she is feeling is completely normal. One commenter wrote, “It is absolutely normal and healthy to grieve. Whether you knew at that time or not, you know now. A loss is a loss no matter how ‘big’ it seemed. Take your time and be easy on yourself.”

Another woman said, “I think it’s normal because you do know now. It’s normal to think about the what-ifs. It’s normal to be sad and grieve. But if it gets to be too much, please seek some kind of professional help or support group. I know you may feel alone, but there are lots of women who have been in your situation and it can be helpful to talk or even just listen to others who can relate on a personal level.”

And one person added, “I’ve had 3 that I didn’t know about until I was losing them. It still hurts, I still think about when they would’ve been born, how old they’d be now, what they would’ve been like. One would’ve been born in April of 2004, one would’ve been born around December of 2007, and one would’ve been born in May of 2013. It’s not ridiculous for it to still hurt, it’s perfectly normal.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

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